Friday, January 23, 2009

It can only go down, right?

So my weight has now ballooned to an unprecedented level. I don't think I've ever been this fat in my life, and being fat and single at the same time doesn't work as well as fat and complacently in a relationship. I need to trim it down so I can feel confident going out, not like a big bloated thing.

I'm in the process of finding a job, which if you've ever been out of work for a while, you will know is a demoralizing, boring, uncertain time. Although you have a lot of time on your hands, you can't really enjoy it because you're too worried about not bringing in a paycheck. The stress also makes me eat more. I'm bored. I'm stressed out. I eat. I also have difficulty finding the motivation to do anything. I've been staying up late, applying for jobs online, and watching my Netflix movies and M*A*S*H. This week I made a conscious effort to get up early, get out and walk, and go to bed early - to keep as close to the schedule I would have if I were working. I feel a little better, and more ready to make some positive changes.

I also quit smoking almost three weeks ago. This has provided a big boost for my health, but it has also resulted in oh so strong cravings for cookies and potato chips and anything that's as calorie dense as possible. The first couple of weeks were murder, but it's getting a little easier, so I have less excuse to plow my way through any food in my path.

I'm ready though, to start changing things. I've tried to for a year, and I keep getting on the wagon, falling off, dusting myself off, and getting back on. It's difficult and I've struggled with my weight for years now. I felt very defeated until something today gave me hope and a purpose.

My friend and I were talking about work. She's bored in her job and wants to do something different. She spends hours a day at work on gmail chat, game sites, and anything she can waste some time on. We talked about being bored, about having unchallenging jobs, and she randomly remarked that she wanted to write a book, but she's not a good writer.

This gave me an idea. Ping. Lightbulb goes on.

She's a nutritionist. I'm a writer. I need to lose weight and she would like to design a diet. We both agree that people should eat real food, nothing processed, nothing artificial, and as local and in-season as possible. I offered myself up as a writing consultant and guinea pig for her new diet. I believe we could combine her knowledge and experience with my willingness and need to try out a new healthy lifestyle and we could chronicle my struggles along the way.

It's a story of two friends helping each other, scratching each other's backs and making a decision to take some control over their own lives and realize there's something better out there than dead-end, time wasting (have to sneak a nap in the car during the workday) jobs and soul-deadening job searches.

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