Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Grazing Along

The Week of Eating Dangerously is going well so far. Today I pigged out on Wensleydale with cranberries on crackers, potstickers, some chili, a Heath bar, and some ice cream. Yesterday was also pretty disgusting. It included frozen lasagna, potstickers, Weetabix with milk, lots of wine, some whiskey for good measure, and an entire pot-roast dinner. I think I'm doing this gorging myself thing some justice. I will be ready to de-tox myself next week.

So Ms. RD, if you're reading, am I making you cringe yet? Are your dietitian fingers itching to get to the keyboard to type me out a nutritional plan that won't kill me in the short or long-term? If you're not cringing yet, I can try harder!

Monday, January 26, 2009

The Week of Eating Dangerously

My friend the nutritionist, we'll call her Ms. RD (for "registered dietitian"), started a new job today and had to move out to Nashville's furthest out ring of 'burbs, so I'm thinking it will take her all this week to come up with parameters for me of what to eat, how much, and when. I'm really wanting a list of how often and how much I can eat (and drink) certain things.

This week started out badly. I went to a pizza party and Cracker Barrel yesterday, so it was pretty calorie heavy. I decided that while Ms. RD gets settled in, I will eat up all the bad food I have in the house, plan what I'm going to buy at the grocery store, and generally have a last week pigout. (I also went out for Indian today).

So I'm not going to watch anything. Hopefully by next Monday, I'll feel ready to start reining in the waistband because I will be sick to death of the excesses of "The Week of Eating Dangerously." It actually worked for me and smoking. I smoked myself silly, chain, one after the other, the night before I quit and I was so sick of it that I decided to stop altogether. Maybe food will be the same.

Friday, January 23, 2009

It can only go down, right?

So my weight has now ballooned to an unprecedented level. I don't think I've ever been this fat in my life, and being fat and single at the same time doesn't work as well as fat and complacently in a relationship. I need to trim it down so I can feel confident going out, not like a big bloated thing.

I'm in the process of finding a job, which if you've ever been out of work for a while, you will know is a demoralizing, boring, uncertain time. Although you have a lot of time on your hands, you can't really enjoy it because you're too worried about not bringing in a paycheck. The stress also makes me eat more. I'm bored. I'm stressed out. I eat. I also have difficulty finding the motivation to do anything. I've been staying up late, applying for jobs online, and watching my Netflix movies and M*A*S*H. This week I made a conscious effort to get up early, get out and walk, and go to bed early - to keep as close to the schedule I would have if I were working. I feel a little better, and more ready to make some positive changes.

I also quit smoking almost three weeks ago. This has provided a big boost for my health, but it has also resulted in oh so strong cravings for cookies and potato chips and anything that's as calorie dense as possible. The first couple of weeks were murder, but it's getting a little easier, so I have less excuse to plow my way through any food in my path.

I'm ready though, to start changing things. I've tried to for a year, and I keep getting on the wagon, falling off, dusting myself off, and getting back on. It's difficult and I've struggled with my weight for years now. I felt very defeated until something today gave me hope and a purpose.

My friend and I were talking about work. She's bored in her job and wants to do something different. She spends hours a day at work on gmail chat, game sites, and anything she can waste some time on. We talked about being bored, about having unchallenging jobs, and she randomly remarked that she wanted to write a book, but she's not a good writer.

This gave me an idea. Ping. Lightbulb goes on.

She's a nutritionist. I'm a writer. I need to lose weight and she would like to design a diet. We both agree that people should eat real food, nothing processed, nothing artificial, and as local and in-season as possible. I offered myself up as a writing consultant and guinea pig for her new diet. I believe we could combine her knowledge and experience with my willingness and need to try out a new healthy lifestyle and we could chronicle my struggles along the way.

It's a story of two friends helping each other, scratching each other's backs and making a decision to take some control over their own lives and realize there's something better out there than dead-end, time wasting (have to sneak a nap in the car during the workday) jobs and soul-deadening job searches.