Food (b)Log #8 (or, Resist the Resistance)

I have not posted a list of what I've eaten for a couple of days, although I have kept up with my food log on Fitday.com, so I'm fully aware of my caloric intake, well as much as I can guess with my limited dietary calculating skills. If you haven't checked out Fitday yet, I urge you to. I keep playing around with the features, which include an activity log, a food log, various graphs and charts, body measurement statistics over time, and a weight goal tracker. It's everything you would pay WeightWatchers for for free!

So I thought I would list my foods for today so you can get a continued idea of what I'm eating. Today has been an o.k. day, although I have not eaten as much fruits and veggies as I would have liked to, and I'm too full to eat any now.

Breakfast:

German Pumpernickel Bread (120 cal, 6 grams fiber)
1 tsp butter
1 tsp homemade blueberry jam
1/2 cup milk

Lunch:

1 Whole Foods Whole Wheat Lavash Wrap (220 calories)
8 thin slices Tempeh
About 1 cup raw spinach
2 thin slices avocado
1/2 cup beansprouts
a few roasted peppers
1/2 cup cucumber
1/4 cup alfalfa sprouts
1 tbsp Trader Joe's Soyaki

Dinner:

1/2 Pizza (with the same crust recipe) I worked out the crust to have about 250 calories per half pizza, plus 1 oz mozerella and assorted veggies. Veggies included spinach, sun-dried tomatoes, chopped garlic, red onions, and mushrooms.

1 piece dark chocolate (70 calories)
1 very small glass white wine

Resist the Resistance, or Let Me Do Something Good

You can't please people. This is something I have learnt. No matter what you do, someone will always have a way you could be doing it better, differently, or not at all. With diets, as with so many other things, people are always willing to put in their two cents, or cash out your two cents.

Over the past week, I've experienced something different from all the other times I have tried to lose weight. Even in the hopeful honeymoon stage that begins every diet, my mind is usually preoccupied with all the things I can't have. I dream about meatballs and cream cakes, bacon-wrapped stuffing, and flaky pastry, and wonder when I will be able to devour large servings ot these things again. In short, my usual rationale is: how can I get skinny so I can start stuffing my face again?

The problem is entitlement. It's the silver, sugar-dipped spoon in the mouth attitude. I thought somehow that I was entitled to eat whatever I wanted and it was "unfair" and "not my fault" that I put weight on. This week I told myself to grow up. I'm thirty years old now and it's about time I did. It's about time I took some accountablility for what I put in my mouth and learn to recognize that every choice has consequences. Perhaps it isn't fair, or perhaps I do have insulin resistance or a slow metabolism, or I'm really a 6 foot 4 svelt blond Swedish guy who was unfairly dumped into a 5 foot 2 woman's body. Whatever the case may be, I still can't eat whatever I want and be a healthy weight. No ifs, ands, or buts. And no excuses.

That's what I can't do, but what's the other side of the coin? What I can do, right? I can learn how to live a healthy, fit life. I can learn which choices make me feel good, full, energetic, clear-thinking and positive. I stopped smoking a few weeks ago, and I've been criticized for trying to start to lose weight. "It's too soon," they say, or "You're trying to do too much at once," or "You'll fail because your expectations are too high." Perhaps they are right and I should just give up. I should say, "Screw real lifestyle change. I'll just fudge through this. I'll just substitute low-fat versions of the foods I'm used to. I'll eat processed imitations. I won't try anything that might change my body chemistry and my outlook. I'll find ways to cheat around having my 4 cups of fruit and vegetables every day. I'll drink diet sodas because they have no calories. I won't exercise because that's just too hard for me. I'll just diet instead of try to become healthy."

If you have a friend who is trying to make real change in her (or his) life, please try to applaud those changes, even if they seem out of character, and even if you feel threatened by them. This is a difficult journey, even harder than breaking up with a bad boyfriend or quitting smoking or drinking. You don't have to see the boyfriend, and cigarettes and alcohol are not necessary to existance, but you can't go cold turkey on food. You have to learn to control what you eat. As Ms. RD said in one of her comments, everyone is different, and some people are more extreme than others. I think there is no absolute right way. Please be supportive. Don't try to sabotage our efforts, we beg you.